Where strange fact and stranger fiction collide
My daughter Dru was born, male and originally named Dexter and is transgender and I love her very much. When I tell stories about her childhood, I refer to her as Dexter and as he. This is a reference to the event happened in her childhood, and is in no means done as an insult or slight.
Like any self-respecting father I have concerns about the image that Barbie presents to young women. So I was concerned when my daughter Emma, ten at the time said that she wanted a Barbie for Christmas. Stammering I tried to explain why Barbie may not be the best role model for a young women. Emma sensing the nature of my fears Emma explained “It is OK daddy, Barbie is a scientist.”
So I set out to look for scientist Barbie. Now like most years in the past, I put off Christmas shopping until a few days before the 25th to get holiday gifts. I had gone to three stores and couldn’t find a Science Barbie. With just minutes left before I would be late to going to work, I spotted in the Oxnard California Wal-Mart what I thought was Veterinarian Barbie. Now she wasn’t a scientist, but hey a Vegetarian is educated and respected, and it came with cute and adorable Labrador retriever. So I decided this was satisfactory, especially since I was running out of time.
A few days later Emma and her Brother Dexter, spent Christmas Eve at my apartment and the next day opened up their presents. The two start giggling about Emma’s present. “What’s so funny?” I asked “Don’t you like Veterinarian Barbie?”
They then explained that I in my rush had not picked up Veterinarian Barbie but “Pooper Scooper” Barbie. The dog ate metal ‘dog food” that then pooped out its butt, and Barbie would pick it up with a pooper stick with a magnet on the end. In my attempt to find a plastic role model, I had literally gotten her dog crap.
When I took them home to their mother, I had to explain why I had bought pooper scooper Barbie for Christmas as Dexter demonstrated “the awesome crappig power of the dog” on his grandmothers Christmas china.
So from our secret underground lair to yours Merry Christmas.