Where strange fact and stranger fiction collide
It has come up that DCotW’s secret underground base. (Legal disclosure by secret underground base we mean my room) is situated on a goat farm. Well kidding season is over and we had eleven baby goats. Seven male and four females. Unfortunately we really don’t need that many males. And my goat Claes (The world’s smartest goat as proven by science) had two boys. I was hoping for two girls, so I could name them Sweet Pea and Baby Doll after the two kick butt protagonist in Sucker Punch.
Let’s face it you can’t eat something you have bottle fed, so the surplus male goats may have to be sold or given away. So you don’t want to get to close to them. So my plan was to name them CBG1 and CBG2 for Claes’ Boy Goat One and Two. But well that lacked pizzazz. So I came up one an idea.
Said idea would be that all Claes male progeny would be named Quatermass. After the famed obscure English scientist that challenged the unknown in the Nigel Kneal’s serials and the Hammer Studios movies. So Quatermass 1 and Quatermass 2, were born. I really wanted a goat names Quatermass, and I figure that if I name all of Claes’ boy goats Quatermass we would eventually keep one of them. All ready they have followed in their mothers paw-steps, by being the ones, that walked the soonest after they were born, first to escape their pen and figure out the new milk tank. As my sister says, “oh yeah those are some troublesome goats.” I couldn’t be happier. (Excuse me, concerned about the goats being quite I leave the computer and go to the barn and check on them- OK it looks alright)
So at work I have been talking about goats a lot. There are two Dave’s on my team at work so it doesn’t get to confusing they call me The Good Looking Dave, and the other Dave “Other Dave” Because well I am good looking and he is the other Dave. Well last week Other Dave Sametimes me on FB that he had seen three goat references on TV, on The Big Bang Theory, The New Odd Couple and another show I don’t watch.
This lead to a discussion about the Badder-Mienhoff Phenomena. You know that is the psychological effect when you hear something for the first time then in the next 72 hours you hear about it over and over. Kind of when your friend buys a gray car and then you notice gray cars all over the place. It is named after a 70’s German Terrorist group the guy who first researched this heard about then kept hearing about and made him want to study it.
Well after it lead to me thinking about semi-hot crazy German terrorists, we came up with some cool possibility for goat movies. “Planet of the Goats”, “Goat-zilla”, “The Great Gotsby”, “The Nubian Avengers: Age of Goat-tron”, “Silence of the Goats”, “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Goats”, and “A Goat to Far.”
That got me thinking about goats in media. The most famous goat in movies is the goat that got eaten by the T-Rex in Jurassic Park. I tracked the goat that played that part down to his home 10880 Malibu Point, 90265. There he was sitting in a floating chair in his pool drinking an ice cold Arnold Palmer, when I caught up and interviewed him.
ME: So how do you feel about being a role model for your race?
Me: Uh….Ok…..Do you feel you open roles up for new upcoming goat actors?
Me: You don’t understand a single word I am saying, do you?
Goat:: Just stares at me and blinks::
The next big Goat Movie is the Men Who Star at goats. And guess what, the goat dies in that one too. George Clooney gets to fly off to the unknown in a helicopter, but the goat just falls over dead. I think I am seeing a trend here. Movies = dead goat.
Another TV show I don’t watch is History Channels Vikings. I should check this out because apparently ti is like Game of Thrones, but instead of a white haired girl and her dragons, it’s about a guy and his baby goat. Baby goats are supposed to be all over the place in that show.
Now this is where I tell you that unlike goats Vikings (Who are a profession of Scandinavian sea raiders not a race) did not have horns, and they did not wear them on their helmets. I know you just wanted to read a blog about goat memes and here I tell you about German terrorist and Viking, it like I am forcing you to learn history. Ok back to goats.
I love The Venture Brothers and who can forget the Scotopia, episode with the “running of the goats.”
Science has proven with exhausting research, that goat memes are second only to cat memes. (By exhausting research I mean me looking at my FB feed) And let’s face it Goats are the master of the new media. Take that Grumpy Cat.
And the You-Tube king of Goat-dome is Gary the Goat. Gary is the strait man (Strait goat) for Australian comedian Jumbo Bazoobi. Jumbo bought the goat for a case of beer. Honestly Gary is funnier than Jumbo. He has since become a worldwide You-tube sensation. Warning though if you watch this. The “F” word isn’t that big a deal in Australia so Jumbo uses it in this clip more times than I conjugate values.
And unless Taylor Swift is in a video wearing fetish gear, blowing things up as a female superhero, her music really is improved with a goat in it.
And because the world needs more cuteness, baby goats in pajamas.
Also we need to talk about Goat simulator. Kind of a mocking of the video game industry you play as a goat, who can be demonic, or heavenly, seems to kill humans with contact and gets abducted by aliens. Pretty realistic actually. My niece and nephew wanted to get it, and I said. “Why you got a 3D goat simulator in your back yard.”
So checking out this tour of goat in the media, it is apparent that what we all in Northern Oregon have always know. It’s the goat’s world – we just live in it.