Where strange fact and stranger fiction collide
If you have been following Dave’s Corner of the Universe, you are aware that one of my newer projects is Dream Team, where I create an objective then take five characters from different sources and create a team capable of achieving that objective. I received the following message from fellow blogger Aaforriger on the comment section of my Dream Team: Rock Band post.
Okay dude, love the dream team idea, but I think you are getting off easy. You pick all the conditions, so I propose that you let me set up the conditions and then you have to pick a “Dream Team” what do you say, up for the challenge, if so e-mail me.
And you know what he is absolutely right. I am sure I modify the prerequisites to some extent as least subconsciously to get the crew I want. So I gleefully responded and here is that challenge he presented to me.
Object: Steal something (hard drive, or formula. Something small and portable) from an evil geniuses’ , a Dr. Moreau type but in an undersea lab, having a scientific symposium for only 24 hours, which is the window the team must operate in.
5 person thief crew, must have at least two female thieves, and one non-human (alien, animal, whatever, does not have to be a thief per se.) One member must be there for comic relief/sidekick purpose.
Also you must pick a submarine to deliver them but not necessarily participate in the heist.
No limits on which fiction you pick the participants from. Will be flexible and you could consider secret agents/spies as thief.
OK, so I took this as a covert government op with maximum deniability if they were caught.
Simon Templar AKA The Saint.
Source: The Saint, novels, TV shows, movies and comics.
Position: Thief and leader
Pros: Master Thief.
Cons: Plans never quite work out as planed and has to improvise his way out.
The Saint is the protagonist of a long running series of books (1928-1963) written by Leslie Charteris. He is the ultimate thief with Robin Hood tendencies. He is a master criminal who uses his skills for good. Before the US and the allies started fighting Germany in World War Two, he was breaking into Nazi bases and stealing incriminating files. He is a good guy but will do whatever it takes to get the job done for the greater good, even up to the use of murder. His victims as he call them the “ungodly” are always worse than he is.
The question is what version I would use. The most recent was played by Val Kilmer in the 1997 movie. Personally I always liked the version Rodger Moore played on TV. The show lasted one hundred and eighteen episodes and always seemed to me to be a preparation role for Moore when he became the world’s greatest spy James Bond. As a kid I loved Ian Ogilvy in the TV show Return of the Saint. If I can chose a Saint I would chose a composite character with the skills and personality of the book’s protagonist, the charm of Moore’s , the globetrotting man of action played by Ogilvy and Kilmer’s looks and tech savvy.
Cpt. Jake Jensen.
Source: The Losers.
Pros: Special Forces trained hacker.
Cons: Poster child for AADD.
The Losers is one of my most favorite comic book trade paper backs. The story line is that a mysterious nearly omnipotent intelligence mastermind codenamed Max betrays the team in the middle of an op, forcing them to wage a covert guerrilla war against him in not only the US but all around the world. The movie was OK, but not as clever as the book was, but I will say the cast who included Chris Evans, Idris Elba, Zoey Saldana, and Jeffery Dean Morgan nailed the parts of the losers to a tee.
Jensen has a lot of skills going in. hacker, communications and electronics, and at least once he infiltrated a secure corporate facility. And though he may be the least combative of the team he is still a Special Forces officer. And let’s face it at some point things are going to go bad and the team will need to have to fight their way out. Jensen is also one of the two choices on this list who could satisfy the comic relief provision.
Melinda May Agent of SHIELD.
Source: Marvel’s Agents of SHEILD.
Position: Pilot/hand to hand combat.
Pros: Top notched pilot and fully trained field agent.
Cons: Might be running counter op for superiors during mission.
The first half of the first season of ABC’s Agents of Shield was good, but disappointing because it was only good. The second half picked up the pace a little. But one part that I always thought was a high point was Agent Melinda May. More than just the pilot, she was once a fun loving positive thinking agent, until one mission turned her in to a stoic unemotional machine. She is slowly working her way back to the person she once was. Originally the character was written as a white woman named Aletha Rice, but Ning-Na Wen did such a good job at the try outs that the character’s race was changed to an Asian.
In addition to being a great pilot she is a master of hand to hand combat. She will use a gun if needs be but prefers to use her martial arts sill. She has an incredibly strong will. Ward is effected when he attempts to use the Asgardian Staff, but May wields two parts simultaneously and is able to resist its control over her. She also did a great impression of Simmons when she was trying to infiltrate a Cybertech facility, so she could pull one off for this op.
Source: Lost Girl.
Position: Short con/comic relief.
Pros: Thinks fast on her feet. High degree of larceny skills
Cons: May pick up a few souvenirs along the way.
When it comes to the show Lost Girl, you can keep you tall lanky independent succubus, I am going for the sidekick. Kenzi is cute as a button and as far as I am concerned she is the star of the show. She is played by Ksenia Solo and if you ask me not casting her as Han and Leia’s child in Episode VII, was JJ Abrams first mistake. I mean for heaven’s sake look at her last name.
Kenzi is a mistress of disguise and can think fast on her feet. Even if she has no clue about what the person she is impersonating dose, like say a scientist, she pushes her con right along with a mixture of confidence, sex appeal, grit and intimidation. She has picked up a bit if hand to hand on the streets, and a bit of sword fighting with Bo, but she is the least combat skilled of the land dwelling team. But that is OK because Templar, Jensen and May can pick up the slack when it comes to going mano y mano with the badies. Kenzi’s one liners and snarky personality defiantly qualify her for the comic relief role.
Source: seaQuest DSV.
Position: Underwater specialist.
Pros: It is a talking dolphin do you need anything else.
Cons: Can only operate in the ocean.
I love intelligent dolphins as characters. Where it is the cetacean spacers in The Uplift Wars series, Flipper, Jones the drug addicted navy dolphin in Johnny Mnemonic or the dolphins in the classic book/movie The Day of the Dolphins. And what could be better under water op than a dolphin
Because Darwin is a mammal not a fish he would have to service on occasion to get more air, but dolphins can operate under the surface for a long period of time. Darwin would also have the perfect camouflage, “look it just a dolphin, let go back to looking for intruders.” His echolocation ability would come in hand too. And though I imagine him having a cool battle harness full on mini-torpedoes, his long body could act as a weapon by swimming into the enemy.
The Submarine: FS-1. The Flying Sub from Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea.
I know a lot of people hated the Flying Sub form the last two seasons of Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea, but I loved it. A lot of people thought it looked silly, but I thought it looked awesome, even in its bright yellow paint job. The atomic power flying saucer like ship could take to the air and fly at supersonic speeds. Not only was it agile in the air it was quite maneuverable under the ocean too. Not to mention flight is the ultimate option when being chased by an enemy in submersibles. I know it was designed for a two man crew but I remember their being room for passengers, if not we can just sue two. It would have to be refitted to allow Darwin in anyways so a quick once over is not out of the question. Also it would be handy if had electro shielding like its mother ship the Seaview.
May thanks to Afforrigger for the help, and suggestion.
Back up/Honorable mention” Kitty Pride (Can walk through walls), Cat Woman (Just her kind of op), Jason Borne (Super enhanced spy), America “Amy” Shaftoe (Cryptonomicon’s underwater salvage expert) Prince Namor (Alsatian with wings on his feet), Ethan Hunt (Mission Impossible super spy) Dirk Pitt (Cleave Cusslers underwater hero), Lara Croft (Often seen in scuba suit), Mike Nelson (Anyone else remember Sea Hunt?) Virgil “Bud’ Brigman. (The Engineer form The Abyss).