Where strange fact and stranger fiction collide
I am writing this as I take the elevator down to my underground secret base where I do all the writing for Dave’s Corner of the world. Actually I am writing this in my room. It is just that an underground secret base sounds so much cooler.
The elevator doors open to the main room of the subterranean complex where we prepare Dave’s corner of the Universe. Festively colored crate paper ribbons are hung from the roof and sparkly shining confetti hang in the air like perpetually suspended snowflakes, to celebrate our first year anniversary. Extremely interesting people huddle in groups they are being…well extremely interesting. Buckaroo Bonzai and his Hong Kong Cavaliers are on the stage rocking the joint. The Joker and Harley Quinn are doing the jitter bug on the main floor. Across the room Batman glowers at the two. I am afraid that the hard worked out truce for this special day will be severely tested, but I am sure it will hold.
I am swamped with people coming up to congratulate me, many of them are fictions in the real world. Captain Nemo is telling me a story about the one who got away, when I spot someone I need to talk to. I give my deepest apologized to Prince Dekar, and excuse myself.
I raise my hand to be seen over the crowd and call out over the music. “Lando…Lando Calrissian.”
The smooth Corillian gambler turns on his heel and approaches me. He gives me a solid handshake. “I am so sorry to see you were left off the cast list of Episode VII” I say sincerely.
“Hey don’t give up on this guy yet.” He said grinning and pointing a thumb at himself. “There always a chance I may still pop up, or at least get my own movie. There is even rumors that I will now appear in the animated show Star Wars Rebels, at least as a guest star.”
“Well Star Wars is hot now.” I reply. “Dark Times in a Galaxy Far Far Away is my most popular blog with sixty-two likes. And your interview is the second with 36 likes.”
“Naturally.” He said with a suave smile. “Oh Dave let me introduce you to someone.” He raises his hand to call over a blonde girl with a tight fitting custom red Star Fleet uniform. “Dave let me introduce you to Lt. Mary Sue.”
“Yes we have met.” I reply.
He wraps his arm around her waist. “She is perfect.”
“So I have been told.”
He continues. “Well anyways after this shindig of yours we flying over to some place called The Delta Quadrant, to get some Gemorean burgers.”
“Have fun you two.” I exclaim and excuse myself as I head over to another guest. It is Amanda Waller. She is not the young attractive woman from the New 52, but the stocky old middle aged Wall from the original comic books. No matter how much I try this is how I want to perceive her. This is how I first met her in the pages of Suicide Squad and this is who I want her to stay.
She is trying some of the jalapeno poppers left out for the guests. “Congratulations you were the most viewed of the ladies in Women of Comic Books Who are More than Skin Deep.”
“Your readers have more taste and decrement than I would have thought.” She says in gruff voice.
“Yes you beat out both Number one, deadly Little Miho and also the second most popular my very first marshal Carrie Stetko by nearly a hundred views. Uh where is the good marshal?” I ask.
“Over by the punch bowl with Lilly Sharpe.” She points to the two women laughing wearing tee-shirts and shorts. “I think those two have been locked up in the anarchic for too long.”
“So do you think that your popularity could be form your regular appearances on the TV show Arrow?”
She scratches her chin and thinks about it for a moment. “Could be. I have two fan bases, one that wants to harken to the old school Amanda, and some who are just discovering the new post 52 me. Of course there is some overlap but it is a distinctive tactical advantage to have two pools of fan to draw from.”
I nod that would help and then I bid adieu to Mrs. Waller and head in to the communications room. The lights are low in the com room, and it is full of people in crisp uniforms wearing Kevlar vests. Not that I think the com room will be attacked it is just that I think people in a com room wearing Kevlar vest is so cool. “So did the Empress Hoshi Sato make it?” I ask.
A goateed com tech explains. “No she couldn’t make it, something about an uprising on Alderox III. She did however send a fruit basket.”
“Check it for poison.” I say not displaying my disappointment. ”Talk to me people. I need numbers.”
A bald black skinned man reports.” We have had 11,545 views in the last year.”
A blonde woman with a ponytails explains. “There have been eighty-nine posts.”
A man in glasses adds “The blog has 1009 followers.”
“Good work.” I say encouragingly. “What about search engine results.”
“Of the 11,519 views 722 have come from search engines.”The black man reports after looking at his computer monitor.
“Any humorous ones?” I ask.
“Well someone was directed to your interview with Captain Kirk, with the query: Theodore Van Kirk where are they now?” The blonde woman said then added. “Theodore Van kirk was the navigator of the Enola Gay the B-29 that dropped the first Atomic bomb.
”OK anything else?” I ask.
“Yes.” She Replied. “People have gotten to your blog using the following search terms, Slutty Velma Dunkley, How do I become a Disney princes, who is the psychology guy who stole Ernestine’s brain, most hot woman in the city, woman have more skin, Captain Nemo’s Polish Name, Horror books where men are impregnated, and uh F<Coughing Nosie> Rapunzel.’
“That is quite a through list”. I say and exit the room. I walk down the hallway to the press conference and I see her. I am not exactly avoiding her. It just I haven’t made myself as available as I probably should have. “Hey.” I say scratching my neck.
The Genius Loci of Portland looks right through me. She is the embodiment of the city I love. She is wearing a Keep Portland Weird Tee-shirt. “So Empress Soto didn’t make it?”
“Yeah…” I blush. “An uprising…I mean it’s not that…I…”
She replies softly. “It is OK Dave, I get it, it’s the half shirt. Haven’t see you around much dive.” She pushes her hipster glasses to the top of her nose.
“I know, sorry.” I stammer, “I have been busy. Baby goats don’t raise themselves. I have just been…” I then change the subject. “You know that your last post the one about Vortex I, hit the top ten in less than a week. And it got reposted four times on Face Book, including the official Exploring Vortex site.”
She let out a little manic dream pixie girl smile. “Cool.”
“I really do want to get more Searching for Lady Portland posts out.” I reply.
“I know Dave.” She says sympathetically. “You do know that Portland has an international cryptozoology museum, don’t you?” She says with a sheepish grin.
“International, you say.” I reply.
She nods her head. “OK, it’s a date. But I got to go to the press conference right now.” I explain.
“Be there or be square.” She giggles as I head down the hall.
As I walk into the room photographers like Peter parker and Jimmy Olson are taking my picture. In the front seat are Louis Land, Raoul Duke and Karl Kolchak.
I give then the pat open statement and begin to take questions. “Yes Miss Lane.”
She stands up and reads from her note book. “From your blog we find out a lot about your ideas about comic books and Star Wars, but very little is about you, will that change next year?”
I shake my head. “No I purposely try to make this not about me.” I point to the man with a cigarette holder clinked between his teeth. “Mr. Duke?”
“Have you ever taken medicine meant for your baby goats, causing you to flip out think you are being attacked by day glow green bats?”
“Once again, the answer would be no.” I say pointing at the Night Stalker. “Mr. Kolchak.”
“Who are you planning on interviewing this year?” He ask pointing his tape recorder towards me.
“We have sent out feelers to the people representing, Lara Croft, the Green Hornet, the Fourth Doctor, Nyarlathotehp, and Hellboy. For legal reason I can’t of any father into those but Interviewing the Fictions will be a continuing project throughout the next year.’
Lois lane caught my eye again. “Last year during the summer you put the blog on hiatus for several months when your daughter was visiting you, are you going to do the same this year.”
“While Emma is up here she will be my primary focus, but since the post are not as time consuming as what I was writing last year and through good time management I do not believe we will need to go on a full Haitians, though the amount of post I put out during that time may diminish a bit.”
“How do your original post differ from what you are doing now?” Raoul Duke said looking over his head for day glow green bats.
I nod as I explain. “The original post were works of fiction and summaries weird historical events. All though I do plan on some more Fortean and weird stories.”
“Will the format ever go back to fiction?” Kolchak asks.
“The thing is people are looking for short stories in this venue, if that is what they want they will just get a book. Very people will go all the way through a nine page short story. I would like to have some flash fiction, one or two page story. But honestly I need to learn how to tell a story that fast.”
I wrap of the conference and head back to the party, already my head is swirling with new ideas.