Where strange fact and stranger fiction collide
Today we are getting the band back together. OK we are actually making a whole new band. This is my new project, where I take fictitious characters and make a team out of them. A band by definition is a team. And on stage you can really see if the team doesn’t jell. So when you are finished reading these pull out some cheesy 80’s movies DVDs, watch some old TV and see if you can come up with a band of your own.
The mission: Create a fiver person band to tour the world, become the next big thing. Of course they will have a lot of mysteries to solve behind the scenes, from fighting the Yakuza to alien zombies.
Premamaters: Fictitious characters only, and they have to have some kind of music talent. Modern sittings only let’s say the 1980’s and latter. And unlike a normal dream team post, besides having to figure out how their powers and personalities merge you also need to consider their musical abilities, when creating your team you want to think how their musical style will blend together, but also you probably don’t want a team made up of two female vocalist and three drummers.
Posistion in the band: Male vocals/rhythm guitar/piano/horns.
Source: Buckaroo Bonzia: Adventures across the Eight Dimension.
Musical Style: Syncopated.
Pros: Can do everything.
Cons: May end up creating a rocket car rather than show up to practice.
In case you missed it BB can do EVERYTHING! He is the male version of Mary Sue (Marty Stu), but in a good way. He can sing. Play guitar, is a medical doctor, scientist, master of the samurai sword, engineer, marksmen, like I said he can do everything, just look at all the instruments he can play. So of course he is going to be on this list.
The movie’s novelization basically had him inventing a new musical style Syncopated. Combining all the good parts of all kinds of music, rock, world music, jazz etc. So he going to be able to incorporate all kinds of musical backgrounds into his music. And someone right in the middle of a gig, someone is going to run in and yell “He’s been shot is there a doctor in the house.” And Buckaroo will whip of his glasses lower his guitar and proclaim. “Why yes. I am a doctor.”
Daniel “Oz” Osborne
Position in Band: Guitarist/bassist.
Source: Buffy the Vampire Slayers.
Musical Style: Garage rock.
Pros: Can get along with almost anyone.
Cons: Three nights a month he is a werewolf.
OK, let’s get this over with first. I know the Buffy purist out there are about to send me nasty grams. Seth Green’s Oz was a guitarist in the fictions band Dingo’s Ate My Baby. But with his laid back persona I think that he’d be a great bassist. Oz like many of great characters in the buffy-verse, Faith, Cordelia, or Wesley, is the epitome of a supporting character. But like the others I think Oz has more stories to tell. So let’s put him back on stage.
In the comic books Oz goes to Tibet, hopping that Buddhism will help him find peace and end the curse of being a werewolf. When that begins to no longer help he embraces Bon the original religion of Tibet. He then learned to live in harmony with his wolf side. He always keeps a silver knife with him in case he is attacked by evil werewolves. But look at how many guns The Hong Kong Cavaliers (Buckaroo Bonsai’s band carries). Also going to school in Sunnyvale has taught him how to battle things that go bump in the night. He may not be a melee master but like a good bassist, he can fill out and support his team when the monsters come out.
Posistion in the Band: lead Guitar.
Source: Robert Rodriquez’s Mexico Trilogy.
Musical Style: Traditional Mexican and Spanish Guitar.
Pros: Makes great music, takes out a guy harassing a woman in the audience and looks great doing it.
Cons; People from his past may keep trying to kill him.
OK, I nearly struck El of the list, because the gunshot wound to his hand, limited his musical ability. So I looked for another guitarist action hero, and other than Buckaroo and Buddy from the Six String Samaria, I couldn’t find any ones that I liked. And I already have Buckaroo and S.S.S. is set in an alternative post nuclear universe, so I ruled him out. But I got to think about how Dr. Bonzai, fixed the Inuit spear thrower’s nerve damage, and I figured that he would patch El up. Then I thought that I had spent way too much time thinking about this and just wrote it down.
I thought that the band/team needed a little more muscle. Sure the good doctor is a crack shot, and Oz can rip a vampire apart with his claws, but El is death on two legs. When he opens up that guitar case and it doesn’t have a real guitar in it, someone is going to the morgue. And if things get to big, he always has a few friends he can call on. But I think he is a good choice musically too. I grew up in a predominately Hispanic town in So-Cal and I have heard very good and very bad Mariachi music, and when it is done right it is awesome. And if you still not sure about a Hispanic influence in your rock, think about bands like Los Lobos, Santana and Ritchie Valens.
Posistion in the Band: Female vocals, Violin, Musical composition.
Source: The guild
Musical Style: Classily trained.
Pros: Great music researcher.
Cons: May spend more time on-line gaming than practicing.
Cyd (that’s her name it isn’t short for anything), may seem like a strange choice, but hear me out. In the comic books Cyd is a classically trained violinist. She helps her boyfriend’s band The Randy Bards, hit it big by researching different kind of music, and creating new music for them. She then catches the egomaniac with another man. But if she was with people who could put up with her neuroticism and be patient with her she could realy put together some great music. She could combine Spanish guitar, dance, 60’s rock and punk and make something really cool and unique. Think what the Beatle’s Eleanor Rigby would sound like with a flamenco guitar and a punk DIY edge to it.
Now I know that the three Guild Music videos are kind of an alt dimension/dream sequence as oppose to cannon, but from seeing those that let’s say that Cyd has all the musical talent of her creator and actress, Felicia Day. Felicia studied music in college and that shows through in such things like Dr. Horrible Sing Along Blog. So we can defiantly say with a little training that Cyd’s voice would qualify as professional.
Posistion in the Band: Drummer.
Source: Scott Pilgrim.
.Musical Style: Punk.
Pros: Has great potential.
Cons: Low self-confidence.
Kim Pine is a great comic book character because she is stuck in a no where job at a video star in a band that is going nowhere, pining over her first love who is with his soul mate. But who would she be if she had compassionate and empathetic mentor, like say Buckaroo. And what if she had a bandmate who didn’t take her for granted, like OZ. And maybe a protector who could teach her a few fighting moved like El. And had a female friend like, Cyd who is more neurotic than her and prove she’s not really that missed up.
What makes her a great character in Scott Pilgrim, could be turned around and make her a great member of a great band. I am not saying take away what makes her Kim. Like her snarkiness, or dead and sense of humor. “Scott if your life had a face I would punch it.” And the best thing about Sex bob-0mb is her counting down the song. That would absolutely have to stay. But a Kim who knew that she was every bit as good as Envy Adams. Would well…she would rock.
So what should we call this all-star band? How about using parts of the names of all their groups. Kim take it away…
“We are El Guild de Hong Kong Sex Dingos…And we are here to rock!…ONE!…TWO!…Three!…”
Runners Up/Back Ups: Josie McCoy (Long tails and ears for hats) Melanie Brown (Good drummer not to bright), Bart Simpson (Do the Bart Man) Bleeding Gums Murphy (For those of you who love jazz), Bill S. Preston Esq (After the musical lessons in time off course) Ted Theodor Logan (Excellent), Jem (She’s truly outrageous), Spinal Tap,(We go up to eleven) The Archie’s (Sugar sugar) Dewy Finn (Jack Black’s character form School of Rock), Death (You may be a king or a itty bitty street sweeper but sooner or latter you dance with the reaper.) Dazzler (Musical mutant)